Schmoozing with Aaron Klein!

"The Spirit of Things is an adventure into religion and spirituality. It explores contemporary values and beliefs as expressed through ritual, art, music, and sacred texts." (About Us, www.abc.net.au/rn/spiritofthings)

"In a Sydney Morning Herald survey of Australia's top 100 intellectuals, Rachael Kohn was voted in the top 50 (SMH, March 12-13, 2005)." (http://www.rachaelkohn.com/)

"Israel, homosexuality, and Hollywood are targeted for elimination according to the young men from the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Hamas, and Islamic Jihad. Aaron Klein, an Orthodox Jew and intrepid journalist, has made it a point to seek them out and get answers to his questions. In this edition of The Spirit of Things you will be amazed at the courage and frankness of Klein as he tells presenter Rachael Kohn about his experiences." (promo for Talking with Terrorists, 15/6/08)

If you thought Greg (Jerusalem Prize) Sheridan's Deep inside the plucky country (see my 20/1/08 post, Gullible's Travels) was good, then Rachael Kohn's interview with young Aaron, Talking with Terrorists, is better! In fact the only thing that could top it would be a Greg (JP) Sheridan interview with him. Just imagine: Deep inside the plucky Aaron Klein.

Intrepid and courageous Aaron is the author of what promises to be (I haven't yet had the pleasure of reading it) a scholarly, but entertaining tome on terrorism titled Schmoozing with Terrorists: From Hollywood to the Holy Land, Jihadists Reveal their Global Plans - to a Jew! WorldNetDaily's Jerusalem correspondent has apparently gone where no journalist has gone before, deep into the gaping jaws of the global jihad, and lives to tell the tale.

But then you'd expect no less from a WND man. Check out for yourself this Brave New World of journalism aka A Free Press for a Free people. Be tempted by the bodybuilding ads or the Ann Coulter wannabes wearing "conservative t-shirts" (Up Your Arsenal!/I'd Rather Be Waterboarding etc). Go ahead! Get clicking! That body and that t-shirt could be yours! (I've never set eyes on Aaron! but I reckon it must've been his body and his t-shirt that turned Rachael's head.) Or maybe some diverting DVDs? How about "The UFO Conspiracy: Space Travelers or Demonic Deceivers?" Or "Watch Darwin croak on video: New work shows mounting evidence for intelligent design of the universe." Still interested in the nooos? Click on "Today's [1/7/08] WND News Highlights" and read all the news that's fit to slaver over: "Democratic Party official accused in satanic rape, kidnap"; "Obama campaign site: Free Islamic terrorist!"; "Student says 'F... off!' on test, gets better grade"; "Now you can dress like a polygamist, too!" And my own favourite: "Ever want to just scream 'NOOOOO!'? Here's [the] answer to worries over issues like blog support for terrorists": "A blog posting on Sen. Barack Obama's official campaign site has urged Americans to work to release an imprisoned terrorist fundraiser, the New York Times reports there [are] a new contingent of political activists calling themselves 'Hussein', and a group of Hindus is presenting Obama's campaign with an idol of a Hindu monkey-god after hearing the candidate carries a smaller version of 'Lord Hanuman' as a good-luck charm. Ever wanted to scream 'NOOOOOO!'?"

Actually, Aaron! (and Rachael), YESSSSSS!

What's with the Obama angle? Some curmudgeons reckon Aaron!'s got an Obamabee in his bonnet: "Klein made a name for himself by getting terrorists to say nice things about Democrats and allying himself with extremist elements of the Israeli right... Klein originally called Hilary Clinton the 'jihadist choice for president', but when Clinton stumbled, he turned his fire to Obama, attempting to expose his so-called 'terrorist connections'." (Ari Berman, Smearing Obama, The Nation, 13/3/08). Others have been so unkind as to refer to his "long and dubious reporting history at WND." (Terry Krepel, Aaron Klein's Mighty Wurlitzer, http://www.conwebwatch.tripod.com/) Whining liberal scum to be sure. They don't know him as Rachael does. And she's in the top 50! Judging by her interview, I imagine the study of terrorism will henceforth be divided into BK! (Before Klein!) and AK! (After Klein!), the courageous/intrepid Klein! having put it at last on a scientific footing. And just to remind you how primitive and dated some of the BK! studies now are, here's a sample:

"In an investigative report by the Guardian newspaper, the friends and families of 21 suicide bombers were interviewed. It was reported that all the families described the bombers as being influenced emotionally by daily images of killings, sometimes 'breaking down in tears or shouting before their television sets'." (Manufacturing Human Bombs: The Making of Palestinian Suicide Bombers, Mohammed Hafez, pp 48-49)

"'I did this because of the suffering of the Palestinian people. The falling of shuhada [those martyred by Israeli forces]... and the destruction everywhere in Palestine... I did this for God and for the Palestinian people'." (Ibid p 50)

"[O]ne cannot simply disaggregate nationalism and religious revivalism; the suicide bombers are dying for God and country. Religious revivalism, nationalist conflict, and community ties underpin the culture of martyrdom that emerged during the second Palestinian uprising. Organizations drew on these 3 sources of identity to engender the myth of the heroic martyr. These identities were interwoven by militant groups to frame martyrdom as an act of redemption, empowerment, and defiance against unjust authorities. Volunteers for suicide attacks are not brainwashed victims of opportunistic organizations, nor are they manipulated individuals who are fooled by calculating terrorists. Instead, it is more appropriate to say that they are inspired by the opportunity to fulfill their obligation to God, sacrifice for the nation and avenge a grieving people." (Ibid, pp 50-51)

"The bottom line... is that suicide terrorism is mainly a response to foreign occupation... Religion plays a role. However, modern suicide terrorism is best understood as an extreme strategy for national liberation against democracies with troops that pose an imminent threat to control the territory the terrorists view as their homeland." (Dying to Win: The Strategic Logic of Suicide Terrorism, Robert Pape, p 23)

Klein!, the intrepid, the courageous, has consigned such studies to the academic dustbin. He has single-handedly swept aside all distinctions: Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, al-Qa'ida, Hezbollah, whatever, they're all just "terror organizations." Movements of national liberation from occupation? Bah, humbug! Terrorists are just natural born killers, "pure evil, [they] exist to kill, like a bird flies, and ice is cold... They kill, that's what they do." And why do Palestinian schmuicide bombers do it, apart of course from being evil, wicked, sinful, vicious, wrong, base, vile, nefarious, malign, malevolent, nasty, and just plain bad?

Aaron! knows 'cause he's been schmoozing with terrorists since he was 19! As the clearly smitten Rachael reminds her listeners at one stage, "'I'm talking to Aaron Klein!, a young fellow who decided that the threats by terrorists to wipe out Israel, America and Western culture were not to be taken lying down." Barely out of coonskin cap and short pants, still at uni (Yeshiva), and he's off to schmooze with al-Qa'ida no less, in Terror Central aka London, no less. Blimey! The CIA may be chasing their tails, but our Aaron!, a mere penniless student presumably, leaves behind his job at Macca's, and manages to smoke out al-Qa'ida faster than you can knock back fries with that. How did he do it? Sadly, Rachael's too mesmerised to ask.

What was that question again? Why do Palestinian schmuiciders do it? Well we know it's not because they're bored with the Israeli occupation because Aaron!'s also been schmoozing with Hamas leader Mahmoud ('I may be busy dodging Israeli missiles, Aaron! me lad, but I can always fit you in') al-Zahhar who tells him "that they're just against the Zionist occupiers, and that they have nothing against Judaism," but the intrepid one just knows (in his bones I guess) that "ultimately it isn't really tue." Still, isn't it funny how all the other terrorists are so "open... about the fact that that their war is a war of culture... of bringing their religion really around the world," but this one isn't. But he is really 'cause Aaron! the brave eventually manages to winkle the truth out of the old scoundrel: "I actually just talked a few weeks ago with Mahmoud al-Zahhar the chief of Hamas on the Gaza Strip*, and he told me that Islam will be spread around the world, that this is the ultimate goal and ideology of Hamas." [*Can't understand why Rachael, one of our top 50 intellects, didn't correct him here. Surely she knows that MZ is actually the Hamas government's foreign minister.]

Anyway, I digress. What was the question again? Ah, why do Palestinian schmuicide bombers do it? Yes, I know, because they can't help themselves, they're all snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails. But, and here's the paradox: although they're evil bastards, they just want to cosy up to God! Yep, that's what "Ahmed... an Islamic Jihad recruit in Jenin" told Aaron!: "[T]his isn't about occupation, it's not about the fact that he lives in poor conditions... he had a fine house and said he wasn't rich, wasn't poor, but he said that he was blowing himself up... because... it's the best way to reach the highest levels... of Allah's paradise." Kids like Ahmed are apparently just putty in the hands of "sheiks/lower-level terrorist leaders" who are "using religion to justify their political aims which is in part to destroy Israel." Carping, canting critics might of course point out that schmuicide bomblings from the secular al-Aqsa Brigades and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine might do it because they find the Israeli occupation a bit of a bore, but who gives a... They're probably on Barack HUSSEIN Osama's payroll anyway.

Define terrorism, Rachael asks. "Targeting civilians for murder to achieve political ends," says Aaron!, but faster than you can mutter 'Israeli state terrorism', he reminds us that "you can't compare terrorists that target women and children, that send schmuicide bombers into restaurants, that shoot rockets from civilian population centres into Jewish homes... to the IDF which really take all precautions necessary to ensure that there aren't civilian casualties."

And how right he is. It's so obviously, dreadfully wrong when Palestinian terrorists target Israeli civilians, but not so when our Israeli heroes kill Palestinian civilians 'cause, gosh, they don't intend to, even though they know they're there, all around, acting as human shields or just getting in the way, damn them. And anyway, the IDF do it cleanly, from a watchtower, from a great height, from way out at sea even, so there's no blood on their hands. And what's more they've got that lovely man from the foreign ministry, Mark Regev, to assure the viewers that there were no Palestinian civilian casualties, only 'collateral damage'.

Rachael asks Aaron! if the terrorists mind him calling them terrorists. But you know who the boss is in this relationship. After all, Aaron!'s been staring down Pure Evil since he was 19 and petrifaction still hasn't set in. The terrorists complain to him that they're not terrorists, but Aaron!'s one tough-talking dude. He won't put up with their whining. He just socks it to 'em, unblinking: "You need to understand that this is the way I think that the West views you. You're just going to have to accept that." And you know what? Aaron! doesn't let on, but I reckon they must just slink off with their forked tails firmly between their legs and their little horns quite crestfallen. And that Aaron!'s not even mad at them! There's only one thing that gets his dander up - the Israeli government! Yep! That's right. Know why? It's 'cause the Israeli leadership, the American leadership and the media are falling over themselves to hand over Israeli "territory" to the terrorists. And you know what that'll lead to: "[W]e're going to have rockets flying into Jerusalem and Tel Aviv..."

No, Aaron!'s not being paranoid. You can see why he's got the shits with the terrorist-appeasing Olmert, Bush and NYT if you read some of his hair-raising despatches at WND. The fiercesome rate at which illegal Palestinian terrorist settlements are proliferating throughout East Jerusalem would be enough to give anyone the wobbles.

In the next exciting episode Aaron! gets stuck into terrorists, the media, Hollywood, terrorists, liberals, terrorists, and more terrorists. Watch this space.