Thank GOD I'm a Liberal Boy

"The Liberals' candidate for Chifley is Venus Priest. They now have an Abbott, 2 Bishops and a Priest. God is sooo on their side right now." (Letter of Paul Romas, Reservoir, The Age, 27/7/10)

Dear Agony Aunt:

I've been with this guy for a while now, but I don't think he really cares about me or my feelings. And sometimes he just lashes out in public. Reckons everyone's out to get him. He can just drop a guy and kick the shit out of him for no reason at all. Then he starts screaming that the guy attacked him! It's so embarrassing with everyone looking at us. And if I say something to him he totally flips out and starts abusing me. Trouble is, I can't help myself, I love him too much. I mean, I want to hate him and be angry with him and leave him, but I just can't stop loving him. I guess it's just the way he is. I mean, I know he's got a few issues and stuff. Do you think it could be my fault he treats me this way? I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. Please help.

Antonia

I hear the cottonwoods whisp'rin' above/ Tony! Tony! Tony's in love:

"I have to say that it's a little disappointing, given the deep affinity between the Australian people and the Israeli people that the current Australian Government has somewhat weakened our longstanding bipartisanship on Israel... I want to reiterate here today, the Coalition's unshakable committment to Israel's security and I want to assure you that a Coalition government would never support a one-sided United Nations resolution against Israel to curry favour with an anti-Israel majority in the General Assembly... And we would never overreact to any international incident, because we appreciate that Israel is under existential threat in a way that no other country in the world is." (Abbott swipes at Labor Party's stance on Israel, The Australian Jewish News, 23/7/10)

The quality of Liberal Party candidates is not strained:

"I am going to win this seat. I claim it as mine and when I get in I will give my votes all of them to God who is on the side of the Liberal Right./Tony Abbott is God's mouthpiece in politics./ I vote for freedom of worship if the worship is of Jesus Christ or The Jewish God anyone else well they are worshipping a false god anyway so who cares./Someone get me into parliament... and watch me go. They will see my talent as the voice of... God himself./As far as I'm concerned every Muslim in Parliament is a step towards a Muslim Parliament, but I'm not against Muslims./I would stand up against the Muslim belief and ethics... well, I don't believe the Muslim faith actually has a place in Australia." (Thought bubbles emitted by David (Voice of God) Barker, disendorsed Liberal candidate for Chifley, as reported in the press this past week.)

God's mouthpiece speaks:

"Mr Abbott, why did the Liberal Party endorse David Barker as its candidate? - Well, he's unendorsed. He's disendorsed. He's gone. He's finished. And now we have a new candidate, our new candidate in the seat of Chifley is Venus Priest. She's a 41-year old small business person. [Question Inaudible] - Look, the point is that attacks on people based on their religion should have no place in this election campaign." (Tony Abbott, Joint Press Conference, Parliament House, Canberra, 25/7/10)

Here a Muslim, there a Muslim, everywhere a Muslim:

"We have to be careful of who we're going to be letting in. They might be a threat like everyone. In every place there's Muslims everywhere. They should have the same priorities as other people." (Venus Priest, Barker's replacement, Priest 'tough' on Muslims, SMH, 29/7/10)

That Julia Gillard is really a card-carrying Leftie who hates the US & Israel - dinkum!:

"For the whole of her political life, Julia Gillard has been a member of Labor's Left faction. This has not been a youthful indiscretion, as she remains a committed member of that faction even today. She is the first Left leader of the federal Labor Party in my lifetime... The policy decisions of the left-wing of the ALP have been consistent ever since I was at university in the late 1970s... On the foreign policy front, the Left was afflicted with a virulent strain of anti-Americanism. It disliked our traditional ties to Britain and clouded its hatred of Israel by pretending that its main Middle East foreign policy objective was Palestinian self-determination... What is it about these policies that attracted her to the Left, where she remains today... The truth is that Gillard today is... a total phony and a policy fraud. Gillard's strategy is to try to win the election on her personality, hoping like anything that no one will ask what she really believes in." (Despite the gloss, Gillard is just another phony, Michael Kroger [former Liberal Party president, Victoria], The Australian, 26/7/10)