Sunday, March 31, 2019

Pauline's Little Blue Book

by Mike Carlton, 28/3/19

Man: Hi. Do youse sell books?

Shop: We do indeed Sir, as you can possibly discern by the rows upon rows of books lining our walls from floor to ceiling, slim volumes, weighty tomes, each shelf groaning with the wisdom of the ages, the soaring delights of the English canon, works of literature to be savoured and devoured, books of whimsy and humour and...

Man: Yeah nah. Well I wanna buy one please.

Shop: Of course. And did Sir have any particular book in mind?

Man: Yeah. A blue one, not real thick...

Shop: A blue one, not real thick? Well that certainly narrows it down. Did you have in mind a novel... or poetry, perhaps?

Man: Ummm...

Shop: ... Biography, history, philosophy... quantum mechanics, nuclear medicine... feminism?

Man: Any of them blue and not too thick?

Shop: One or two, I dare say Sir, one or two...

Man:I wanna buy the book what Pauline Hanson read. Wot she was talking about on TV.

Shop: Oh. The book that Pauline Hanson read... book that Pauline Hanson read, let me guess. Was it Das Kapital, perhaps, Karl Marx. Very popular over the years, that one...

Man: Is it blue?

Shop: Sorry, sorry, my mistake. That only comes in red. We've got a blue Mein Kampf. Not real thick...

Man: Does it have pictures?

Shop: Not that I can recall, no. There's a picture of the author on the cover, though.

Man: Yeah, nah, orright. I'll 'ave it.

Shop: I think you'll enjoy it. You can always look up some of the big words...

Man: Wot? Do you think I'm stupid?

Shop: Not at all, Sir. Just a bit thick...

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