Savages

The late (1937 - 2008) great American comedian George Carlin surely had the likes of the Sydney Morning Herald in mind when he asked, "Why do they call Palestinian commandos terrorists, and Israeli terrorists commandos?" To quote from the most recent of the Herald's clueless editorials on Palestine/Israel: "Israel has dropped its refusal to negotiate with a terrorist organisation..." (The art of compromise, 23/6/08)

But it gets better: "For Israel, the social and economic costs of endless war are high."

For Israel! How perfectly understanding! Scraping together the wherewithal to put the jackboot into malnourished Gazans must be sooo painful. Just as well the Americans are a soft touch for a few quid.

And spare a thought for Israel's poor, put-upon 'commandos'. Why, only last month these heroes knocked on the front door of one of those scruffy Gazan houses with their jackboots, scuffing them in the process. Understandably impatient at the tardiness with which the woman inside was preparing to open the door (after all, they only wanted to say hi), they had rigged an explosive device which went off just as she was opening it. Palestinians, of course, have a dreadful habit of blowing up whenever Israelis are around, and this one was no exception. In fact, her head was torn from her body. Thank G-d our heroes escaped unscathed! Typically too, she had no control over her feral offspring who unfortunately witnessed their mother's unedifying loss of self control. In a civilized society they would have been neither seen nor heard. Then - can you believe this? - she just lay there rudely ignoring her guests while the latter were forced to do some unpaid babysitting for the next five hours as they kept watch for the Palestinian terrorists who infest the Strip. The nerve of the woman! Wisely, our Israeli heroes shut the brats, aged 2 to 13, in a bedroom for the duration of their stay. But not before teaching them enough discipline to deter them from venturing forth some two hours after they'd left. It is to be hoped that these children will benefit from such a lesson. I am confident the Herald's editorialist would agree.

[*Blast kills Gaza teacher in front of her children, The Independent, 12/5/08]