The Ultimate Rambamming

As regular readers of this blog know, documenting the process I have labelled rambamming (ie Israeli government/Israel lobby-sponsored propaganda junkets by Australian pollywaffles, media hacks and other useful fools) is one of my abiding interests. Rambammings usually consist of a whirlwind tour of Zionist pilgrimage sites, such as Yad Vashem Holocaust History Museum, Masada and Sderot, and meetings with various peddlers of the official Israeli line.

For those pollywaffles, media hacks and other useful fools, however, who've become a tad blase about your stock-standard rambamming, who've maybe developed a bit of a 'been there, done that' attitude about the business, I have good news. An outfit called the Israel Law Center (israellawcenter.com) has come up with "A once-in-a-lifetime experience: THE ULTIMATE MISSION TO ISRAEL, Monday, June 21-Monday, June 28, 2010." The ILC website sales pitch urges one to "[e]xperience a dynamic and intensive 8-day exploration of Israel's struggle for survival and security in the Middle East today: 'a military, humanitarian, historical, judicial, religious, and political reality check'." Excuse me! The listed "Mission Highlights" should whet the appetite of even the most jaded of rambammers:

*Briefings by Mossad officials and commanders of the Shin Bet.
*Briefing by officers in the IDF Intelligence and Operations branches.
*Inside tour of the IAF unit who carries out targeted killings.
*Live exhibition of penetration raids in Arab territory.
*Observe a trial of Hamas terrorists in an IDF military court.
*First hand tours of the Lebanese front-line military positions and the Gaza border check-points.
*Inside tour of the controversial Security Fence and secret intelligence bases.
*Meeting Israel's Arab agents who infiltrate the terrorist groups and provide real-time intelligence.
*Meetings with senior Cabinet Ministers and other key policymakers.
*Small airplane tour of the Galilee, Jeep rides in the Golan Heights, water activities on Lake Kinneret, a cook-out barbecue and a Shabbat enjoying the rich religious and historic wonders of Jerusalem's Old City.

Try topping that. Trailblazing scholar and brilliant satirist (yes!) Norman Finkelstein (normanfinkelstein.com) has:

A once-in-a-lifetime experience: THE ULTIMATE MISSION TO DEUTSCHLAND

Experience a dynamic and intensive 8-day exploration of Nazi Germany's struggle for Lebensraum and against the Judeo-Bolshevik conspiracy in Europe today: 'a military, humanitarian, historical, judicial, religious, and political reality check'.

Mission Highlights

*Briefings by the Gestapo and commanders of the Wehrmacht.
*Inside tour of the SS unit that carries out extermination of Judeo-Bolsheviks.
*Live exhibition of heroic SS units battling Jewish scum in Warsaw Ghetto.
*Observe a trial of Jewish terrorists in a Nazi military court.
*First hand tours of of the Russian front-line military positions and the Polish border check-points.
*Inside tour of the controversial Wall around Warsaw and secret bases of Jewish collaborators.
*Meeting Germany's Kapo collaborator agents who infiltrate the Jewish terrorist groups and provide real-time intelligence.
*Briefing by Germany's war heros who saved the country from Jewish terrorists in Warsaw.
*Meetings with senior Nazi Ministers and other key policymakers.

At this point Norman must have been called away because his final 'highlight' is simply a repeat of the ILC's. So I've taken the liberty of substituting the following final highlight to his ULTIMATE MISSION to DEUTSCHLAND: *Small airplane tour of the Reich Commissariat Ukraine, water activities on the Black Sea, a cook-out barbecue enjoying the rich religious and historic wonders of Paris' Notre Dame Cathedral and Eiffel Tower, a parade on the Adolf-Hitler Platz followed by lunch in the Rathskeller Restaurant and dinner and schnapps with the Fuehrer himself at Berchtesgaden.