How to Read The Australian 2

Murdoch's Australian may look rather forbidding to its legions of non-readers, but it's actually quite easy to navigate, provided you keep in mind that it is as much a crusading Zionist newspaper as it is a purveyor of genuine news, and that this therefore necessitates the adoption of the following precaution when reading it:

Whenever it's engaged in one of its regular crusades to capture, flay and fillet the best among us, which is to say anyone of note with the intellectual and moral courage to take a public stand in defence of the Palestinian people come what may, the victim invariably becomes the target of every conceivable expression of abuse and invective known to man, whether from the paper's dedicated attack dogs, its editorialists or its letter writers.

Do not, however, be put off by this. Simply know, in every fibre of your being, that in every case the opposite is true and draw the logical conclusion.

For example, having lately tired of firing salvoes at The Greens' Lee Rhiannon, the Australian has now turned its attention to the head of Sydney University's Centre for Peace & Conflict Studies (CPACS), Jake Lynch. According to its various campaign communiques for 6-11 December (a campaign which continues to this very day), associate professor Lynch:

is partisan;
causes outrage and concern;
rings alarm bells;
makes inappropriate comments;
sparks furious responses;
is appallingly prejudiced;
indulges in groupthink at its worst;
is intolerant and illiberal;
is verging on the anti-Semitic;
attended a rally;
and is wayward and discriminatory...

And all this hue and cry because Jake Lynch supports the Palestinian BDS campaign, which, according to the same source for the same period:

is misguided;
is supported by racists and anti-Semites;
and is indecent...

This, of course, can only mean one thing: Jake Lynch is both a gentleman and a scholar.

Now as part of the same campaign, the Australian also says of CPACS that it:

is infected by the attitude of the closed mind;
displays destructive partisanship;
is controversial and counter-productive;
is more attuned to conflict than peace;
provokes the Jewish community;
is a left-wing infestation;
practises unconscionable indoctrination;
manipulates the young;
and pollutes Sydney University...

From which only one possible conclusion can be drawn: CPACS is a first-rate academic institution. 

Hey, it works for me.