Heartrending Tales of Israeli Disenfranchisement

Please spare a thought for Harel Meshulam, a young Israeli currently on a "working holiday" in Australia, who, according to a 'report' in yesterday's Australian, is "a little bit upset" because "Israel's electoral law prohibits citizens from voting if they are out of the country on election day." (Israelis abroad want election say, Jacob Atkins, 22/1/13)

Now I have to say I'm in complete solidarity with young Harel here. Such a state of affairs in the ONLY DEMOCRACY IN THE MIDDLE EAST is intolerable, OK?

It doesn't seem to matter that this clearly traumatised, but peace-loving Israeli youth, pictured in a cool black t-shirt with the hip slogan Make Falafel Not War, has done his bit to ensure Israel's very survival in the world's toughest 'hood. As the opening paragraph of Atkins' 'report' says: "Just 12 months ago, Harel Meshulam was dodging falling Palestinian rockets at a military base on the Gaza-Israel border."

But despite that, it seems, the artful young dodger "will be denied the right to vote when his compatriots in Israel head to the polls for today's general election."

It's enough to make you weep!

But the plight of weary, disenfranchised travellers such as Harel - who have little choice but to go abroad in search of some well-earned R&R after a hard day's dodging Palestinian rockets, bullets, knives, stones, curses, dirty looks, demographic threats and stubborn refusals to just pack up and piss off, forcing young Israelis, who far prefer making falafel to war, to put them in their (burial) place with F-16s, Apache helicopters, Merkava tanks and the latest, cutting-edge weaponry from doting Uncle Sam's bottomless arsenals - is as nothing compared to the plight of those who work for Israel in that first circle of the Zionist hell known as THE DIASPORA, or, as churnalist Jacob Atkins puts it, those "in the Jewish diaspora who have access to Israeli passports but have few connections to the country."

Miserable, disenfranchised wretches such as Vic Alhadeff, Peter Wertheim, Colin Rubenstein and Michael Danby for example.

Now appearances, as we all know, are deceiving. So it should always be borne in mind, that despite being most comfortably domiciled here in Australia, and even enjoying red carpet access to prime ministers, state premiers and the media, our Zionist lobbyists are nevertheless 100% DIASPORIC, that is, condemned to the living hell of EXILE from Ersatz Israel.

Not, mind you, because they can't 'make aliya' but because, like Buddhism's bodhisattvas - enlightened beings dedicated to working for the enlightenment of all sentient beings - they choose to remain in EXILE, selflessly dedicating their lives to working for the enlightenment of all sentient Australian Jews, which means in practice encouraging them to 'make aliya'.

End their misery NOW I say and give these guys the vote!

I mean, think about it. For how long did young Harel really have to dodge falling Palestinian rockets before swanning off to Australia to teach us how to be Israellycool? These Israel lobbyists, on the other hand, have to dodge falling missives fired by diasporic Palestinians and their supporters and dupes day in, day out, year after bloody year!

And while we're on the subject of those in the DIASPORA with "few connections to the country," I want you all to send out your hearts to the still 'lost' members of the 'lost tribe' known as the Bnei Menashe from Manipur in India. (See Israel welcomes 2000th India Bnei Menashe oleh, Laura Kelly, The Jerusalem Post, 23/1/13.)

Young Mirna Singsit (who has net yet learnt to wear cool t-shirts with the slogan Make Falafel Not War), for example, may be the 2000th member of her 'tribe' to 'make aliya' but what of the rest of the 'tribe' left behind in India? I mean, it's all very well for young Mirna to prattle on about Israel being "my peoples' dream for thousands of years," and wanting to live in Jerusalem, "the Holiest place on earth," she's made it in time to vote! But what about those she's left behind? And what about all those other 'lost tribes', found or still waiting to be found? Enfranchise the lot I say!

As for those millions of diasporised, disenfranchised Palestinian refugees, they can all go and get stuffed, right?