Wednesday, November 27, 2013

In Defence of Rocket Scientists

"The Abbott government has re-calibrated its position on Israel [in the UN] to ensure that only 'balanced' UN resolutions are endorsed as it comes under pressure from the opposition to explain the shift." (Coalition now 'balanced' on UN Middle East votes, Joe Kelly & Brendan Nicholson, The Australian, 26/11/13)

Re-calibrated, eh? So Palestine/Israel really is rocket science?!

Ipso facto, rocket science is best left to rocket scientists, right?

Rocket scientists say awesome things such as:

"An approach which simply denies any possibility of flexibility towards the settlements is a recipe for a complete lack of progress towards a two-state solution." (ibid)

But of course! Why didn't I think of that?

Obviously because I'm not a rocket science.

The above pearl just tripped off the tongue of rocket scientist extraordinaire Peter Jennings, currently executive director of the Australian Strategic Policy Institute (ASPI), and was thankfully recorded for posterity by a pair of adjacent Murdoch journalists, Joe Kelly and Brendan Nicholson.

How fortunate they just happened to be passing by.

Now rocket scientists, being rocket scientists, they have bloody brilliant careers.

Take Peter's for example:

*1980: BA (Honours) in History, University of Tasmania
*1985: Fulbright Fellow, MIT
*1987: Taught politics and international relations at UNSW
*1990: Defence adviser to the Federal Opposition
*1996: Chief of Staff to the Minister for Defence
*1998: Head of the Strategic Policy Branch
*1999: Co-Director of the East Timor Policy Unit
*2000: Sloan Fellow, London School of Economics
*2002: Deputy Director of the Defence Imagery & Geospatial Organisation
*2002-2003: Senior Advisor in the Prime Minister's Office
*2012: ASPI ED

Up up & away, eh?

Now you might think that a rocket scientist like Peter, who gets Israel/Palestine just like that, has read every scholarly book on the subject and then some. But you'd be wrong.

You see, his exalted status as a 'suppository of all wisdom' on all things Middle Eastern (not to mention everything else under the sun) derives not from the work of scholars and historians such as Edward Said, Ilan Pappe, or David Hirst, but from stellar entities beyond our ken (aka ASPI's corporate partners).

Entities such as:

*Lockheed Martin: an American security and aeronautics company which sells Super Hercules airlifters to Israel. (See Israel receives first C-130J Super Hercules: 'Shimshon',

*IBM (International Business Machines): an American multinational which provides IT and business consulting services to the the Israeli army, economy and academic institutions. (See: CJPME, Factsheet, Boycott campaign: IBM)

*EADS (European Aeronautic Defence & Space Company): a French company which works with the Israeli Aircraft Industry (IAI) to develop drone technology. (See: France: Biggest European weapons supplier to Israel,

Just think: where would our Middle East policy be without the superior knowledge and fine-tuning of rocket scientists like Peter Jennings?


Anonymous said...

Wasn't IBM subjected to sustained legal attacks by contemporary Zionist groups for selling its systems to pre World War Two Nazi Germany in the nineteen thirties?

Perhaps it is expected, legally, that IBM should become clairvoyants.

MERC said...

No idea. Does IBM go that far back? As for Zionists, they had no problems doing deals with the Nazis.