Here Comes the Rain!

M'Lord Turnbull's elevation of Craig Laundy, the member for Reid, to the post of Assistant Minister for Multicultural Affairs has triggered alarm bells in Lobbyland.

Is there no rest for these eternally vigilant warriors for Zionism?

No sooner have they staved off one existential threat from the NSW Labor grassroots, than M'Lord Turnball throws them this Liberal curveball. At any rate, loins have been girded and talking points sharpened. Operation Inundation has begun.

Here are those talking points, both text and subtext:

Peter Wertheim (Executive Council of Australian Jewry - ECAJ):

"The ECAJ will be seeking a meeting with the Assistant Minister for Multicultural Affairs at the earliest opportunity. Many of our community's most pressing concerns fall within his portfolio - the recrudescence of antisemitism, communal security costs and threats to religious freedoms... We believe that the Asst Min well understands that the responsibility of government is to promote social cohesion, not discord." (Eager to meet a new member of the ministry, jwire.com.au, 17/2/16)

Translation:

It's all about us, ourselves and we. And us, ourselves and we is all about Israel. You see, Mr Laundy, airing doubts about Israel is merely how it begins. Then, before you know it, the social fabric, which rests entirely on love of Israel, is rent and life in Australia will become solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short in the Hobbesian manner. Now you wouldn't want to be responsible for that, would you, Mr Laundy?

Colin Rubenstein (Australia/Israel & Jewish Affairs Council - AIJAC):

"While we have certainly had our concerns about Craig Laundy in the past, especially in terms of his poorly-informed, one-sided comments on Israel and the Middle East we look forward to constructively engaging with him in his new role... We hope his knowledge of Israel and the broader Middle East... will grow, and anticipate he will both better understand and endorse his Government's commendable policies towards Israel and the peace process..."

Translation:

We've got a 5-star re-education camp study tour in the vibrant Land of Our Dreams lined up for you, Mr Laundy. All the right people have been there and done that, and all have returned with the right ideas and singing like canaries. Take Ms Plibersek for instance. She too started out frothing at the mouth. That we could ignore from a mere MP, but once she began to rise through the ranks we had no option but to, as we like to put it - constructively engage - with her. Constructive engagement, you see, is our specialty. We've had almost a hundred years of experience at it. No 'immovable object' has ever been able to withstand our irresistable force. Oh, yes, Mr Laundy, initially she kicked and she screamed, but a few constructive engagement sessions soon wore her down and she eventually took the cure tour. Now look at her! Almost Labor leader! Do you see my point, Mr Laundy? Think about it...

Michael Danby MP:

"Malcolm Turnbull might charm Jewish audiences in Wentworth by joking about being a member of Mishpocha,' but I think the community has a right to be disappointed with his choice for the Multicultural Affairs portfolio... His APAN-inspired 2014 speech on 'International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People,' during which he claimed 'the lobby' was restricting free speech on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict; and that Israel's creation was the source of all today's unrest in the Middle East, was as ugly a sentiment as it was factually and historically incorrect. But more than that, inflammatory comments like that are the antithesis of Multiculturalism, and can only serve to create division between communities..."

Translation:

Listen up, Laundy. First, do you know who I am? Right! I'm sooo disappointed in you. Not to mention Mishpocha Malcolm. Second, how very, very dare you! Third - and let's get this straight once and for all - because you obviously weren't paying attention in Sunday school - my mob wrote the script on the Middle East, OK? G-d gave it to us, not them, not just 60 or 70 years ago, but thousands of years ago. So don't think you can just swan around in this joint, shooting off your mouth, without hearing from me, OK?

Pray for the soul of Craig Laundy.