Monday, March 7, 2011

The View from Planet Friedman

So much for Hossam Hamalawy on Egypt and its intifada (last post). Didn't all those references to Palestine give you the shits, eh? Anyway, what would he know, he's just a bloody gypo for crysake!

And thinking back, I don't even know now why I posted the damn thing. I mean, who needs all that tedious history, Egyptian at that, to explain what's going on over there right now? No, if you really want to know what the fuss is all about, you need a cool, creative, credible, Israel-friendly American voice to put you right.

Yes, you know who I'm referring to, don't you? That's right - Thomas L. Friedman of The New York Times:

Like, who needs homework?

"We know the big causes - tyranny, rising food prices, youth unemployment and social media. But since being in Egypt, I've been putting together my own back-of-the-envelope guess list of what I'd call the 'not-so-obvious forces' that fed this mass revolt." (This Is Just the Start, 1/3/11)

There's what I'd call the OMG! If Obama can do it, so can we! factor (Hamalawy? You listening?)

"I'm convinced that listening to Obama's 2009 Cairo speech - not the words, but the man - were more than a few young Arabs who were saying to themselves: 'Hmmm, let's see. He's young. I'm young. He's dark-skinned. I'm dark-skinned. His middle name is Hussein. My name is Hussein. His grandfather is a Muslim. My grandfather is a Muslim. He is president of the United States. And I'm an unemployed young Arab with no vote and no voice in my future'. I'd put that in my mix of forces fueling these revolts." (ibid)

So, Hamalawy, how come you didn't think of that?

Then there's the OMG! If Israel can do it, so can we! factor (Hamalawyyy?)

"The Arab TV network Al Jazeera has a big team covering Israel today. Here are some of the stories they have been beaming into the Arab world: Israel's previous prime minister, Ehud Olmert, had to resign because he was accused of illicitly taking envelopes stuffed with money from a Jewish-American backer. An Israeli court recently convicted Israel's former president Moshe Katsav on 2 counts of rape, based on accusations by former employees. And just a few weeks ago, Israel, at the last second, rescinded the appointment of Maj. Gen. Yoav Galant as the army's new chief of staff after Israeli environmentalists spurred a government investigation that concluded General Galant had seized public land near his home. This surely got a few laughs in Egypt where land sales to fat cats and cronies of the regime that have resulted in huge overnight profits have been the talk of Cairo this past year. When you live right next to a country that is bringing to justice its top leaders for corruption and you live in a country where many of the top leaders are corrupt, well, you notice." (ibid)

Hey, you, Hamalawy! Why didn't you mention in your article how all those anti-Mubarak protesters were inspired - inspired! - by the example of Israel's unswerving commitment to Justice!

And not least, there's the OMG! If Salam Fayyad can do it, so can we! (aka Fayyadism) factor (Hamalawyyyyyy!)

"Palestinian Prime Minister Salam Fayyad introduced a new form of government in the Arab world in the last 3 years, something I've dubbed 'Fayyadism'. It said: judge me on my performance, on how I deliver government services and collect the garbage and create jobs - not simply on how I 'resist' the West or Israel. Every Arab could relate to this." (ibid)

That's right, Hamalawy, didn't it occur to you how vibrantly green with envy Egyptians are when they see the utopia created by Salam Fayyad under Israel's benevolent watch in the West Bank? Oh, man, they've got a garbage collection to die for! There's a can for nonrecyclables, a can for recyclables and yet another for garden waste - mainly withered roses, collected from the streets after having been showered on visiting Israeli troops, who, let's face it, are the ones who have really made this Palestinian paradise possible. Face it, Hamalawy, this is the kind of garbage collection Egyptians can only dream about. Now how can you call yourself a responsible journalist after leaving that out of the mix?

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